I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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