I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
