so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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