The best revenge is premature balding
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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