I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
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I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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