Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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