Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
They are going to name an STD after you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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