I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Me too!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
