There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
