Dual....:-)
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
