we're blogging at a bar
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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