their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My balls are so social today.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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