College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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