I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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