once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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