New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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