I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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