I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
