boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
