I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Panties = found
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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