a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
