awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize