I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
