so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
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That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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