11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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