Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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