If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
