You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I bet he comes in French.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
