Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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