why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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