One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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