I don't usually arrange sex via text message
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize