You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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