So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think your dad took our porno
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
