I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
