even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
