i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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