I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
