So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
