girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
