like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
