I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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