In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
my poor anus
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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