I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
