Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
