So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
