Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
