i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
