the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
