return my video game
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
