Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
