Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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