She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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