Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
