sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
